One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:34, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” This scripture is an important reminder to me that the God who took care of me yesterday will take care of me tomorrow; it is a reminder that my focus should remind on today and seeking first the kingdom of God – today.

Sometimes though, what I know in my heart does not always reflect in my actions and I often find myself thinking of tomorrow or some distant point in the future, whether I am worrying about how our needs will be met, envisioning some potential circumstance and thinking through how I might handle something that hasn’t even occurred, or daydreaming about some future event.

It is ironic; however, that when I look back on the events of my life, I am comforted that I could not see ahead and did not know what was going to happen before it occurred. It is easy to think that my actions might have been different had I known what a day might hold, but we can never know the “what if’s” in our lives. Looking back we should remember the mighty hand of the Lord in our lives, see with awe the circumstances He has orchestrated so that He might be glorified in us and through us, and remember the limitations of our own sinful hearts. When we look at the depth of our own sin, we should see His staying hand of grace in our lives without which we would be destined to the fall of our own sinful natures. The Lord is not the author of sin, but the sin in our lives should serve as a reminder of who we are without God’s grace, for it is by His grace alone that we do any good – ever.

Looking back I am reminded that we cannot change the past nor can we foresee the future. And so, on this day of memories – the anniversary of one of the most tragic events in my life – I look back with heartache but leave the rest to God’s sovereignty and God’s grace. In remembering I am thankful for the life the Lord has given me, and for all the people He has put in my life and used in this long slow process of sanctification. I am thankful for my husband, the father of my precious children, and I remember his life on this anniversary of his death. I am thankful for the trials through which I have walked and for both the heartache and the joy that have been mine. God has used all of these things to mold me and it is my prayer that He will continue to use the circumstances of my life – both good and bad – to grow me and pull me ever closer to Him.