I stand a long time and watch as the darkness gathers around me and a thumbnail of the moon begins to shed its thin light in the night sky. As the dark falls around me I touch a button and the music begins to wash over me; I close my eyes and my feet begin to move slowly to the rhythm and I am dancing once again in the arms of the one who loves me. As I listen to the music, my heart whispers words for which my voice is mute – a prayer for forgiveness, a praise for where I am today, and a plea for rescue from self and sin. I cling to His embrace and remember I am loved – not because I am good but because I am His.
Like a child who looks up and realizes she has wandered from the hand of the Father or a wife who misses the arms of her husband, I run to Him and rest in His embrace and wonder why I have forgotten in the midst of fear and confusion that I am not alone. Oh, how my heart aches because of the pride that makes me want to hide from sin and shame and builds a wall that cannot protect me. And how my feet are prone to wander; prone to leave the God I love when I am battle weary. Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it; help me to remember to whom I belong.
Standing in the dark, I know I am not alone as I put my hands in the nail scarred hands that redeemed me and took the sin from which I cannot escape. The boulder in my road may not move tonight, but it does not have to block my path or my vision forever. As Tim Keller says, one hundred percent God and one hundred percent me; I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and nothing without Him. Why do I forget that His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in my weakness?
But tonight I am reminded that neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any power, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus my Lord. And so tonight the music plays and I dance, sweetly embraced in his love – a child who is wounded and battle weary at times but loved none the less. I remember that I am His and He uses broken vessels and reshapes and remolds the clay as he deems necessary for his glory.